im GIVING UP.

='|

i wan to say sori to ah ee and xin cen and maybe others too.
sorry for wat i have done.
ee,i know u care about me.i know myself have change till more worst
i know,i really know..the reason i change i also dono why..and u guys also dont know wat happen actually..dont simply said something if tat thing not true n never happen..i know that sure many ppl tell u about me..
im hurt too..i just can sorry..i also hope that myself can change back
but at least i treat u guys still the same
u guys still my best frens in my heart
maybe u guys canot accept me anymore. my heart very pain when i see and hear u guys do like tis.
but what can i do..oredi happen..i just can say sorry..all my fault.i never blame u guys..i really miss the moments when we spent together like before..i hope can turn back like before again..i reli reli hope our frenship can back like before again,have fun together,happy and sad together ='[
im reli reli sorry for what i have done and change...
useless if i explain..just blame me..i dont mind cos u guys are still my best frens..thanks for caring..

♥

again & again..
break it again..
everything just lik a dream..
its okay
u guys dont understand me..i wonder why some ppl just like to judge me for no reason..
u guys dint know anything,den can simply said something..
u know wat the feeling is it after u do tat..nvm
wat can i do? i sabar jak..put it inside my heart..nobody know
but you guys will know it n understand one day..
i dont mind wat people said.. the mouth is urs.. just up to u
but think before u do and say.

♥

wat happen to myself tis few days or few weeks?
i feel tat i have change.
really..im not before tat vivian yu li wen anymore.
haha

='|

i want to back when im just a little kid.

doyouguysreallyunderstandme..
doyouguysreallyknowwatimtryingtodo..
doyouguysreallyknowwhatmylifehappening..
doyouguysreallyknowwatineedactually..
doyouguysreallyreallyknowaboutit?
sure u guys think im annoying,cos im owez sad all of the time.
hey,im not acting okae? some of u dont really know wat happen,then just shut up ur mouth.
tats all i wan to say.
isee,ihear everything
its enoughforme.
enough..
=')

♥ i dono wat to do.

right now,im living in a fuckin place.
i reli feel wanna leave in tis fucking place
i hate everything right now.
i owez do the good thing,nobody seems to remember !
yea u r right, everyone blame me ? wat also my fault.
alright,nvm. i will sabar ! but i dono i can stand it untill when
dont force me pls ! im gonna crazy soon.
i will leave here nex year ! tis is so confirm !
dont fuck wit my life ! fucker !
papa n mama ! im sori ,im not a perfect daughter !
watever. u guys r sucks ~ u guys make me dissapoint ! i dont nid u guys if can !
but no matter wat happen,i still love u guys ! wat can i do?
im sick of my life !
feel tat everybody is gonna leave me soon !
i miss my frens ! i miss it,really miss it.
i have nobody,im nobody,im juz a bitch ! everyone hate me please.
why i cant get wat i want? why others can,but i cannot? why?!
i just wan a simple life,happy everyday. izit so hard for me? pls bah
the problems come everyday ! after solve it but still come ! wat the fuck !
u guys never understand my feeling. always think tat u guys r right,all my wrong.
sometimes i cant control myself,hide myself and cry lonely. ahaha ! wat a stupid me ! tuii~
i just wan alone if can !
sometimes hope myself kena langgar by kereta ! fuuuhhh~
pls dont hurt me if can. please -
sorry i cant be perfect .
time pls past more fast n fast !! i wan to leave in tis fuckin place call miri ! fuck yew.
papai.

♥ my fuckin life

uhuk..oredi 2 weeks i dint update my blog ! ohoh..feel lazy to update oredi..well,in tis 2 weeks,reli happen too many things..maybe i have forget some oredi..huhu..nvm..i juz write wat i have rmb those bad things happen in tis 2 weeks..huhu..ermm..i dono how to start.. aiks..i feel so tired in my life oredi ..reli tired..i wish i can leave miri bah..go somewerelse start my new life..after i turn back wit him,i feel tat more terok than before..everyday quarrel..juz a small kes also wan to gadoh untill like tat..i reli x tahan like tis ow..when we gadoh rite,i relly feel regret to accept him back..i dono why..juz feel hurt..maybe wat u said is right,i never understand ur feeling,but how abt me？do u understand my feeling too? both of us got wrong,don blame each other..after the things happen,afta u do tat to me,u hurt me,i have change..not same wit before tat vivi anymore..u make me change untill like tat..but i still know wat im doing,i also hope i can back same like before..but its hard for me to change..cos i cant accept it..im sorry if i have hurt u or wat..but i dint mean wan to hurt u,u hurt me too..try to think..maybe i have hurt u,but i still love you..i reli wish tat we wont gadoh everyday..don so temper pls..i reli canot stand it u noe? its suffer to c us like tat..sometimes reli make me want to quit in tis relationship..single life is better i think..but its okay..juz sabar..and i still rmb i had told u before..if i turn back wit u,i cant same wit dulu anymore..the feeling is not same wit b4 anymore..maybe hard to trust u anymore..tat time becos i trust u too much,so will happen tat kind of thing..if can i wish..we are okay everyday..if not i reli will choose to leave..juz dont control me much and try to trust me..i oredi tell u many times,before we couple,i don like ppl control my life !! cos i had try b4 wit my ex..my ex control me reli too over,i had tahan him more than 2 years..at last i also said break wit him,so i reli hope u wont do the same thing too..hope u can understand..the second thing is about ah ee my babe ..hurm..i dono wat happen to her..suddenly less talk and come find us..she has change..not like b4 anymore..owez hang wit us..hurm..i reli want to know the reason..i dint go and ask her..i also don wan to know..cos maybe i know the reason..or maybe not..i juz hope wat she has choose..wat she has done the decision..she wont regret about it ..girl..take care..owez love u and miss u..maybe u r not anymore..if can pls tell me the reason why u become like tis..i will wait for u =') saturday 24 oct reli a happy day..ahak ! we have open apartment at imperial hotel..we play thr,celebrate ah ling birthday ,steamboat thr,have fun tat day ..yeahh !! i miss tat nite..it was a happy nite..i cant forget about it =)
mwaahss,brothers 4ever yeah !! love u guys.. ok larrh,tats all i wan to say..upload some pics too :)

♥ big girls dont cry.

aiks..tis few nite..before slp..donno why..my tears will suddenly drop down.ahak !
erm..maybe i think too much? but i think is true wat i think abt everyday..
i feel very very tired in this kind of life..i dont like my family sometimes..my dad never care abt my feeling..always want to quarrel wit him..i reli don wan like tat bhaa..very suffer eyh..mom n dad,u guys dont juz think tat all things is my fault bhaa..dint do anything wrong also my fault..i know im juz a kid..but try to understand my feeling maa..when i do something great..u guys never seems to remember..but when i do something wrong..u guys will rmb always n will remind it again..haih..nvm laa..my dad said he will leave here..ask me follow mom..when i hear abt tis..im reli very hurt n my tears keep rolling down..i donno why..i don feel wan to follow mom..maybe i oredi biasa wit my dad..but if can..i juz wan to live alone..but in my heart..i still love my mom n dad no matter wat happen..even they don wan to care me anymore..im still love them =')
sometimes..when i saw my frens happy n sweet wit their family..den my heart will feel very pain owh..huhu..at last..i wan to say sori to qaliesha,izumi,kiki n one of their fren..sowie for las friday nite ..cos buat uu guys susah ..thx for helping too.. tat nite reli reli bad mood n sad .grr..i cant stop thinkin abt it..haiyaa..stress..

♥ lazy to update =p

workin time =) karen,cen n vi

magnum 4D jackpot =D 29/9/09

raya time wit mr.ariffin ,eating aiskrim miloo =D

fatty vivi

raya at qaliesha house 26/9/09

oiyok! dint update my blog for one week oredi..huhu..malas bhaa..well..raya holiday is over oredi ! very enjoy in this one week holiday..very epi n crazy XP start school oredi..gonna exam nex week..pra spm OH NO!! hate it bhaa..today jadual spm also out oredi !! gonna start on 18 november wednesday !! OH MY GOODNESS...abit scare baa..dono wat to do..gonna graduate oredi,gonna leave stco soon..very sad eyh =( 5 years juz pass like tat..damn fast owh..uwaa..and also kena pilih to go plkn..hope i can go far from miri,don wan go soon hup thr..hua hua hua =p and i don wan the first group,cos i still wan go kl wit my babes on nex year january go shopping for cny ..huhu..hope laa..pray for god..amen =)

♥ happy raya !

selamat hari raya !! yea yea..well..tis morning..i still feel very sleepy..cos not enuf slp las nite..muahaha..but i cant slp anymore..cos nid get ready to going my fren house raya..huhu..one sumthing den i go my frens house..ah ee,clarence,ah ling n stewart ..we sama2 go bai nian..wakaka..we also go zirah house..den go apen house..ehee..his brother damn kiyuut eh !! i miss him so so much..he still rmb me..ahak..so happy ye..feel malu when c his mom..aiyak.. =) i reli miss bath..i miss his kish..eee..wan to hug him again..grr..geram ehh..after apen house,den we going fam house..his birthday..bbq at his house..wahh..today reli eat damn damn damn full n much eh !! hard to walk baa..uwaa..den abt 9sumthing..raining bah..no place to go edi..we also go home..today also get many greenpau .. thanks ye :) raya also make me feel wan to celebrate chinese new year baa..uhukk..cant wait till tat day..nexyear cny is at valentine day..woahh..tat day sure gonna be a crazy n fun day if im still single !! wakaka .. =p

♥ happy day !

eeeeeeeeyerr..weee..haha..yesterday n las nite only one word can describe - HAPPY DAY ! i don wan say so much le lorh..holiday isss start now ! time to gilaaaa eh =p

SELAMAT HARI RAYA MAAF ZAHIR & BATIN

♥ THIS is LIFE

errk..hehe..tis mornink i dint go school worh..cos headahce and then las nite also 1 sumthin only slp..huhu..las nite hang out wit my babes lerr,cen,hau kiat,poh san n karen :) but they 1 pair de leh..only me..miss l0nely..haha =p yesterday also celebrate bao chai de birthday..cos tat day sunday we dint celebrate dao..so change to yesterday luu..we go walkwalk,also take big head photo den go watch movie..'wer got ghost' damn funny laa..damn..shock me so many times..hahaa ..bodoh ehh..i also buy a shoes las nite at summit .. yea yea :D quite happy las nitee..after watch movie then back home lorr..haizz..after back home..online,bath n sleep..but then he call me las nite..he tell me tat he got gf edi..hahaa..dono why horr..suddenly my heart feel so pain..cry awhile n its okay oredi..juz ..dono why..hahaha..funny laa..just don wan he treat the girl same like me b4..don wan she get hurt..haha..ceh..so later nid go briefing yerr 5pm ..tats all for today..upload some pic abt las nite we took :)

♥ happy n tired day =)

me n jason :) frens forever

ah b gf,xiao fen n vivi :) at dream garden

me n the birthday boy ah kin :)

hikhikhik..today my mood is okae.. wake up on 7:30am early monink..cos got work digi roadshow at emart thr.. den 9am start work untill 9 pm..hurmm..reli tired wor today..very hot ar the emart.. stand thr also peluh edi..omg..beh song eh ><> ask me wan to go or not..and den i feel tat very long long time dint gather wit them oredi..reli very long time dint c them oredi..so after bath,den jason come pick me n go dream garden celebrate ah kin birthday..wahh..when arrive them..feel them dint change also..still the same face,same heart,same person..ahaha..miss them laa..miss the time we owez go limteh before..eee..after cut cake..den my frens pick me go grand oil lady thr to find my fren gerard =) he said tat today is gee birthday..eee..wanna go wish her happy birthday..hehe..after wish her..den my frens pick me back home..miss dee,gee,gerard n others their frens =p after arive home,facebook again,den now blogging..ahaha.. well..today is a happy day..love u guys ..owez cheer me up when im unhappy..thanks :) finally..i wan to say again..happy birthday to GEE n AH KIN..may u guys wish come true =p muwaaaaaaaaaaahss.. okaee laarr,going to slp now.tml have to work again.. gud nite my dear frens..sweet dream..sleep tight !!

♥ very soi oh today !! darn darm damn

haiyoyo..feel tat myself reli very malang ar tis few days..dono why
feel tat got ppl curse me bah..isk..tis morning b4 going sch..i fall down bahh..cos very dark tat time..5 sumthin early in the morning..uhuk..dint notice tat got a big hole infront me..den juz walk straight n drop..haha..den my hand n leg injured..hand more serious den leg..aiya..very pain ehh..
after arive school only wash n sapu ubat n balut it..haha..sure i will be very suffer tis few days..hard to bath also..make me so geram..grrr..damn pain when kena water..aiyoyo..wat can i do lerr..juz can tahan n #%$#%@ ..haizz..las friday my leg kena cucuk paku,now den fall down n injured..wat the fark lorr..haha..hope tat faster recover n don have scar owh..if not ..aduh..so sad..huhu..tml is going to work again..havin roadshow at emart thr..roadshow for 2 days,sat n sun..9am till 9pm.. go take a look also can..haha XP ok laa..shows some picture..

♥ errk.. life?

karen,dear cen n vivi <3

hurm..recently many things happen around me..i also dono why my family n my problem..aiks..so malang =( feel wan to cry but i know tat cry also no use..cos cry cant settle the prob..at least can settle my feeling haha :D hurm..today nth special..afternoon go briefing for tis week roadshow at emart..and den going paxen eat mcd wit karen,cen,n kiat..we jalan2..juz like tis..aftertat den back home..after back home,haizz..dono wat happen to my daddy..feel him so sad..i cant do anything..make me so geram,keep scold this n that..haha..maybe crazy oredi horr..juz many bad things happen laa tis few days..hope will be okay very soon..feeling so bad now..m00dy..today cen intro me a song name short hair 短發 from gigi leung..feel tat tis song very sad n nice but tis song quite long time edi..but still very nice ark...very suit me when the 1st day i know him do tat to me..hurt so bad..frust..and then terus go cut short mah hair..now feel abit regret laa..but wat can i do? juz can wait my hair long like before..reli miss mah hair bhaa..uwaa ='( gud nite everyone.. :) muwaaahs



我已剪短我的发剪断了牵挂
剪一地不被爱的分岔
长长短短短短长长
一寸一寸在挣扎
我已剪短我的发剪断了惩罚
剪一地伤透我的尴尬
反反覆覆清清楚楚
一刀两断你的情话你的谎话
哭到喉咙沙哑还得拼命装傻

♥

t0gether we party
t0gether we cry
t0gether we laugh
t0gether we play
t0gether we fun
kept every single secret
and covered every lie
cus we are best mates !
TILL THE DAY WE DIE

♥ today reli very sleepy

haiz..today feel so so so sleepy lerr..dono why..maybe cos sunday nite..over..
exam also feel wan to slp..head also wan knock down edi arrh..sien..
so tired n sleepy..huhu..after exam..go eat pizza wit momi..den back hm lurr..
arrhh..u keep running in my mind

=’（

today i saw many things..know many things..now only understand..now only know
im reli useless ='(

♥ wish everything will be alrite.

i cry tis morning when i wake up..he call me..tell me many things..he also admit tat finally..he wan me back..but i tell him imposible..i cant..very sakit ati..but then at last he tell me we r still friends..ya..sure..we are..u r owez in my heart..i will rmb the happy memories when be wit you ..thanks for my frens tat who care me so much..dont worry,i will be ok very soon..giv myself some time..i will forget all the sad things..and be strong..everything is over..back to normal,start my new life again..

=')

♥ the end

im blank now..i dono wat to say..but my heart got many things wan to say..but dono how to say out
im hurt,pain,blur,sad,dissapoint..i dono wat to do now..
las friday at school..ah ee tell me tat she got sumthin wan to tell me..but she said nid wait the nex day saturday when we out only tell me..cos tat time exam,don wan ganggu..i keep think tat izit about apen..but then i dint think much..juz wait for the nex day ..finally ah ee them also tell me le..
after they tell me,i reli very hurt n blur..i ask him,he also admit tat when the 1st time we kenal,i ask him got gf or not,but he said don have,but actually he still together wit the girl..im the scandal? haha..im stupid!!now i only know b4 he wit me,he actually got a gf wit him oredi more than 3 years..haha..funny rite?i x sangka he will treat me like tis..i being bodoh for so long..cheat me for 5 months..i dono anything..mmg bodoh..why he still don wan mengaku..still wan to cheat me..why!!1st i dono wan to trust who..but aftertat i think back..make me feel tat i don trust apen anymore..i trust wat the girl said..i treat u not gud enuf? u can tipu all the ppl..but u cant tipu me..i juz wan to know the truth,but u still don wan to tell me..damn..if u tell me early tat u got a gf actually,we still can be fren..wont happen like tis now..u hurt me n her too..please laa..fikir dulu b4 u do somethin..nvm..fine..i don wan to say so much anymore..break will make us more better..although i still love u,but wat can i do..no use if im still wit u..u make me very dissapointed!!time will make us forget about it..juz nid tyme now..everything is end! wish u r happy always..take gud care of urself when im not beside..
aqeela..wish u r happy wit him..bahagia always..nothing will disturb u 2 anymore..

♥ boring day

w0w..our school t0day confirm got ppl kena h1n1 oleeedi..
uweee..teacher ask us to bring mask t0m0row..woaahh..lihai.. =D
ok laa..today nothing speacial..after exam den go look for mr.aripen !wahh..we like 2 weeks dint jumpa oledi laaa..uwaa..aftertat den go back h0me and then eat eat eat and then online a while and then go slp a while and then bath and then now write my blog ..ahak..everyday juz do the same thingg laa~ haizz..damn bowink laa ~ i wan fresh lyfe !! =D uwee..i lerb tis s0ng recently..my mr.aripen ask me to hear tis s0ng..he said is poee me ..=DD omg..lerb it s00 much laa ..nice s0ng!!

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♥ 我們的距離變的好遙遠

my dear fanshu..we took tis durin cny =(

痴痴地想了多少夜 我还是不了解。。

tml i m going to take engine course .. i wan faster get car license..uwee
nothing can last forever..tis is right !

i dont understand..our distance become so far..i miss u fren..
many things in my mind now !! i miss fanshu so much..
uwaa..know u r busy wit ur work now..
but dont ever forget uss..miss the time when spend wit u..
when we can out like beforee..

g00d nite every0ne! ='[

♥ flu,batuk,demam

haizz
im sick now..last 2 nites is our school concert..
play too over,shout too over till canot tok anything now..damn sakit T_T
uwaa..tired !!reli tired..but i miss the time..
why the time past so fast? T_T after the konsert,no more stay at school for practice..
now think back..also feel very funny n sweet..
reli reli reli miss it larh T.T
i will owez rmb the happy n sweet memories~